Gabriel!

Been a while since I've posted! We've been busy!
Our little one made an appearance at 40 weeks and 2 days. We have a son, Gabriel.

Here is our story:
Thursday morning, May 8, I had an OB appointment and got a cervix check. There was absolutely no indication of Gabriel coming soon. I was closed, thick but soft, same as the week before. I had an appointment for acupressure at 3 that afternoon and thought I might as well go anyway, the relaxation would be nice even if my body wasn't ready for labour yet.
My mom had been staying with us for the week and decided to go home Thursday after my appointment.
Gilles got home from work around 5, we ate supper then took the dogs for a walk around 7pm. While we were walking I had to stop a couple times for what I thought may be contractions. They weren't painful, but definitely required no movement.
Around 8pm they were regular and coming faster than I thought they should be for early labour. We called our doula around 10pm when they were consistently 3 minutes apart and lasting 30 to 40 seconds to the peak. She suggested I get in the bath and see if that calms things down. It didn't, they stayed right around the same so we called our doula again and she came to the house around 11:30pm
At 2am Friday morning, we headed to the hospital because I had a bearing down feeling and the contractions were still consistent at 2.5 - 3 minutes apart.
They took me right into a delivery room because I was bearing down and grunting when we got there. They checked me and I was only at 3cm. They told me I needed to stop my body for trying to push or I would cause my cervix to swell. That was enough for me to concentrate really hard stopping.
After getting in the room I used the shower and birth ball a ton.
I sat on the ball and leaned my head on the bed. I picked a spot on the moveable tray the nurse was using and used it to concentrate. When that wasn't working anymore, we put the ball in the shower and Gilles and our doula swapped holding the shower head on my back and feeding me bites of granola bar and water. Apparently I smashed my face into the steel safety bars in the shower with every contraction. I thought I was placing my head. I didn't know this until a couple days later when I commented my forehead hurt.

My water finally broke while on the ball leaning on the bed around 6am.
The contractions were coming faster and harder. I asked to use the gas after they checked me at 8am and said I was 7cm. After using it for a while I was checked again and still at 7cm. The gas didn't do much for the pain, but it forced me to breathe through each contraction and relax. After a couple hours of what we think was transition, I was done and asked for the epidural. This was not our plan, but I believe there would be no way I would have been able to deliver Gabriel without getting a little rest. The Dr (whom I'd met before) suggested that the epidural would also speed things along at that point.
I was a champ sitting through the contractions while the epidural went in. It numbed my right side first so I spent a lot of time on my left side. I was able to have a nap and so was Gilles. They got me to turn on my right side, but Gabriel's heart rate dropped so they kept me on my left side. Our doula and Gilles both gave me a neck massage while I was laying there resting which felt like heaven!
I hadn't been able to go to the bathroom during the transition phase or while having the epidural for whatever reason, so they had to drain my bladder twice with a catheter. That helped move things along with the pressure from my bladder gone.

They checked me again at 12pm and I was 10cm. Baby was at 0 station so they let me be to see if baby would come further down with contractions. At 12:45 they checked again and baby had moved slightly. I started pushing. I first pushed on my side with my leg up in a hold. I would pull my knee up to my shoulder with every push. I didn't feel like that was working enough so I asked to squat. That was a fail, since my legs were numb. Since I was on my back, we propped me up with pillows and I was able to pull my legs back with every push. After an hour he was almost out. They used a very small vacuum to assist and he was born! Such a relief! The feeling of his head going through and then his shoulders was amazing.

We did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin immediately. He breastfed right away, was very alert and then did skin to skin on Gilles. Gilles said he just looked at him the entire time. Our doula got me tea and toast with jam on it. Delicious!

I had a small 2nd degree tear that needed some stitching. And what the Dr described as road rash on my labia. They put stitches in and said told me they would dissolve in the next week or 2.

We were moved to a recovery room (shared) around 5pm and given supper.

Gabriel was born May 9, 2014 at 2:53pm.
Weight: 6 lbs 6 oz
Length: 20 inches

Why the rush?

I'm in a group online and I'm starting to see a trend. Moms to be are so excited and uncomfortable they want to have their baby RIGHT NOW. Some of these ladies are less than what is considered Early Term (37 - 39 weeks) and definitely not Full Term. They are now considering 39 weeks to be Full Term, and 41 - 42 Late Term in case you thought 37 weeks was it.

I get that we're uncomfortable. I get that we're excited. I'm right there with you. Pregnancy is 40 weeks for a reason. The average is actually 41 weeks and 3 days. Our babies are still developing up until the time they start labour. Let me repeat that last part - THEY START LABOUR. Not you. Babies come when they are ready. Sometimes that fits our schedule, most of the time it doesn't. Sometimes it doesn't fit the medical schedule either and we're "overdue". When they are early for whatever reason - sometimes it's in our control, most times it's not - there are higher risks of problems arising (not saying it always happens but the risks are greater). Lungs aren't developed properly, the immune system isn't finished, breastfeeding can be more of a challenge and the list goes on. Why wish that for your baby just to ease your comfort? Suck it up.

There are definitely things like exercise, teas, massage, etc that can help labour, but they won't start anything unless your body (read: baby) is ready. This may be me being naive as a first time mom and not having reached 40 weeks yet. I am uncomfortable and I know it will get more uncomfortable as the weeks go by. My comfort will mean nothing and seem incredibly selfish if bébé is born and has problems somehow. It's not about you anymore.

I'm a firm believer that my body and baby know what their doing. I believe that when it's time, it's time. Am I going to book an acupressure appointment for 40 weeks and a few days? Absolutely. Am I going to book it at 37 weeks? No.
Will I ask to be induced medically or have a membrane sweep at 38 weeks? No. I don't think that intervening early is necessary. It opens you and baby up for complications, higher risks and infection and issues after birth. Could intervention be something I consider when I'm nearing 42 weeks? Possibly, but that's another conversation at a later date if it's needed.

Let your bébé bake. They will arrive when they are suppose to. And if you're late according to the medical system, there's a whole different conversation to have at that point.

To Doula or not to Doula?

When we first got pregnant, the one thing I wanted to research right away, was a doula. I knew that I wanted one there for our first child and birth experience. My oldest sister had one with her last of 3 kids and had a natural birth. The research supporting the success of having a natural birth with a doula is enough to convince me it is worth every penny.

I had to convince Gilles that a doula is not a replacement for him. He is my main support, my rock and the one I want by my side through the birth. A doula is simply there to help him, me and remind us of the decisions we intended to make. They've been there, they have experience.

I went through the doula websites in our area of the city as a way to narrow down the search. I found one website that just felt like "the one". At around 8 weeks I emailed to get a meeting/interview with them. I fully intended to make more meetings with a few others, but after we ended up talking for so long with the duo and being kicked out of Starbucks because it was closing, we knew we'd found the right team.

The Serene Mama Doula team is great. We essentially get 2 doulas for the price of one. We meet with them both for all our meetings and on the day our baby comes, one of them will be there with us. They are each others back up and we get to know them both.

We get support through the moment we hire them to a few days after we get home with our new bundle. They will go through everything from nutrition, tips for exercise and relaxation, a lending library of books, videos and just a quick call to reassure me when I have questions. They help us picture our perfect birth, and help us achieve it. They also talk with us about realistic expectations. They don't shy away from the details or the things no one talks about.

For us and our birth plan, we are planning to be in a hospital. From experience with my sisters and reading books, I feel like having a resource there for the duration that knows what is going on and provide support is key. The OB or Dr comes in infrequently and really only when it's time to push or there is something wrong. Nurses can be great, but depending on how long your labour is, you may see a number of different ones. Having Gilles and a doula there as constant support is priceless.