Week 7

(A lot of these week posts are going to be written and posted long before I revealed I'm pregnant on my blog)

How Far Along: 7 Weeks

Symptoms: "Morning sickness" is all day with nausea. I went to the Dr and got some Diclectin today to help so I can eat.

Weight Gain: I've lost 7 pounds. :(

Sleep: Still sleeping great. I've started putting a pillow between my knees for comfort.

Best Moment of the Week: Shared the great news with my dad, my oldest sister. Told Husbands parents and oldest brother.
Ultrasound! I went for an u/s at 7 weeks and 1 day and got to see our little bean.

Worst Moment of the Week: morning sickness setting in for a long haul.

Any cravings or aversions: nothing new. I'm really loving bananas.

Wedding ring on or off: On

What I'm looking forward to: Going to my first NFL game this weekend!

What I miss: springing out of bed feeling great.

Emotions: Happy. Even though I don't feel good I'd rather feel this way then nothing.

Nursery: My oldest sister has saved us a bassinet that will be in our room for the first while.

Shopping: A pair of pants.

To-do checks: Pack a lot of extra food for our weekend trip to San Francisco for an NFL game!

Week 6

(A lot of these week posts are going to be written and posted long before I revealed I'm pregnant on my blog)

How Far Along: 6 Weeks

Symptoms: Nausea is starting to set in. Still haven't gotten physically sick. I'm also really tired.

Weight Gain: I've actually lost 3 pounds. :(

Sleep: Still sleeping great

Best Moment of the Week: Telling my mom! I met her at the mall. We went to Toys R Us for a birthday gift for my niece and I asked her what she was going to by for us for May. She looked confused and then got all teary eyed and asked if I was pregnant. We hugged in the aisle and cried together. 

Any cravings or aversions: No more 3 Tulsi (Holy Basil) tea for me. I also had the best banana ever this week. Just tasted really amazing.

Wedding ring on or off: On

What I'm looking forward to: 

What I miss: My super tight jeans.

Emotions: Happy. I tear up when I think about how our families reacted.

Nursery: Won't be going back to this for a long while. Still decluttering the house

Shopping: I bought some Earth Mama Angel Baby First Trimester tea. So far it's great. I also bought a belly band and I bought one BumGenius 4.0 Diaper.

To-do checks: Had my first prenatal appointment with the Dr. It was quick. I now have some blood tests booked a couple weeks from now and an ultra sound Tuesday next week.

Week 5

(A lot of these week posts are going to be written and posted long before I revealed I'm pregnant on my blog)

How Far Along: 5 Weeks

Symptoms: I had one wave of nausea when I was waiting at the dentist. I think I was just too warm. I've felt bloated and had a bit of cramping, but nothing like period cramping.

Weight Gain: Nothing

Sleep: I've been sleeping great. Waking up excited and happy is ruining my sleep ins though.

Best Moment of the Week: Telling our families. Feeling blessed. Knowing that God's timing is always perfect.

Worst Moment of the Week: Trying to keep it a secret! 

Any cravings or aversions: Nothing I've noticed

Wedding ring on or off: On

What I'm looking forward to: More pregnancy symptoms. I haven't had any, but I know they are coming. I haven't had sore boobs like all the resources say are a sure sign.

What I miss: Wine. Any and all kinds of wine. Champagne.

Emotions: Ecstatic! Scared! Happy! Relieved. I am relieved because of all the stress I've had this year, I thought it would take us longer.

Nursery: Picked the room and starting to declutter. Our office will be turned into a spare bedroom, so that the spare bedroom will be the Nursery. I want to declutter and organize at the same time so I might as well get started.

Shopping: I bought myself a pregnancy book (two actually)

To-do checks: Made an appointment with my Dr.

The wait is over...

AND IT WAS POSITIVE!!!

I was watching my temperature every morning like a hawk. My ovulation day was either cycle day (CD)15 or CD 17. It was hard to tell. So when I tested, I was either 14 days past ovulation (dpo) or 16 dpo. Either I should have been getting my period that day, or I was 2 days late. Because my temperature was high for all of those days, I went with CD15 and assumed I was 16 dpo. I was a little unsure of what my cycle was going to do this time around because I had stopped taking Vitex at the beginning of it.  

I was going to wait to test until I had 18 high temps. In my NFP class, they taught us that 18 is a sign you're pregnant. I was doing my best to wait and be patient. The dollar store had been out of cheap tests for a couple weeks and I took it as a sign to practice patience. 

I couldn't wait. 

In the afternoon on August 28, 2013, I peed on a stick. I watched. I waited. I WAS SHOCKED. I looked the test windows and thought that can't be right. I checked the box, Yes, a + and a - in the windows is a positive. I snapped a picture, then another one. I cried a couple tears from feeling so elated. I waited for 3 HOURS for Husband to get home from work so I could share the amazing news. 

His reaction: "Oh shit!" with the biggest grin on his face. He said later when we were making dinner he knew we were trying and that there was a possibility but couldn't believe it actually happened. Me either huney!

We tried for 3 cycles. The first one, we were travelling and there was a lot of stress right before leaving. The second cycle, there was a lot of work stress including me being put on anti-depressants and sick leave. The third one, I had made the decision to quit my job, mentally checked out and life was going in a new direction. God's timing is perfect as always.

I can't wait to document all the weeks, blessings, frustrations and share this journey with you.

Envious or Happy?

When you see a pregnant woman, are you happy for them or do you wish that was you and seethe jealousy that it's not?

I am happy for people. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of miracle to make a baby. I have two friends that are pregnant and due in September. When I found out, I was excited for both of them. One told me in person, the other I found out on Facebook.

I haven't exactly kept in touch with them both because life is busy and we live in different parts of the city. It's hard to get together and their life is changing dramatically.

I got the opportunity to go to one friends baby shower. She did hers a couple weeks ago and looks so beautiful pregnant. She was relaxed, happy and waiting. I made a point to get to her shower and be there to support her. She has such a sweet soul. We played a few new games I hadn't played before, and it was great to catch up with her.  I asked her all sorts of birthing questions and what her plans were. Who better to learn from than someone going through it? We are very similar so it was great to hear what she was planning and know that I could get information from her when our time comes.

My other friend had a surprise at 35 weeks. Her baby girl (they didn't know the sex at the time) wanted to meet them sooner than expected. I still don't have all the details as I think they are swamped and need some time. Their daughter is in the NICU for a week or so because she was early, but from what I have seen and heard from them, everyone is doing well.

It makes you see how different every pregnancy is. Every mom, every dad, every baby.

I love feeling joy for friends and smiling at strangers. There is something magical about that.

The Two Week Wait

Two weeks is such a short time in our busy lives. In reality, it is. We can accomplish a lot in 2 weeks. That's two weekends to enjoy. 10 days of work. But when you are waiting for those two weeks to end so you can pee on a stick, they are LOOOONNNGGGG!

Charting makes the Two Week Wait (TWW) better and worse at the same time. Every day I get another high temperature after ovulation, I do a little skip for joy. Another day closer. It also makes it worse. You have an exact date of when you can test and when you are "late". When you know what day past ovulation you are, it makes the weeks longer. Plus you are used to charting all your symptoms. The worst part is that PMS and pregnancy share a lot of the same signs. Frustrating!

The new home pregnancy tests say you can test up to 4 days before your expected period. I know exactly when that is! But do you really want to spend $20+ on a test that may/may not give you an accurate result, when a missed period will tell you pretty much everything you need to know? I thought so last cycle. Husband thought it was too early, and it was.

We ended up not conceiving last cycle, and that's ok. God's timing wasn't right for us. There was a lot going on stress wise and I'm not surprised it didn't happen. Sad at seeing a Big Fat Negative (BFN) but also felt a little relief that we get to try again. This time is special and bringing us closer together as a couple.

Having been the crazy TWW lady that analysed every single "symptom" and used up 3 home pregnancy tests, I feel like this time around I'm more relaxed. I have faith that it will either happen, or won't. Either way, it's the divine plan.

Does me being more relaxed mean I won't pee on a stick at 12 days past ovulation? Likely not. Who wouldn't want to know as early as possible? Thank you dollar store for having cheap pink dye tests.

Stress

Stress. It's a nasty word that can mean something different for every single person. For me, it's a horrible thing that I deal with and has significant consequences to my health and family.

I have been through a lot of health issues, and I am now a firm believer that they all relate to stress and my inability to deal with a lot of it. Stress can be good and bad. Stress of a wedding = good! Stress of a job issue = bad. Stress of a new puppy = good. Stress of a death in the family = bad. And on we go. Stress can be good or bad but to your body, it's all the same. The chemical reaction inside is the same.

Last November, I noticed my charts went completely out of the norm and I was able to know that something wasn't right. I was losing focus, couldn't concentrate, was having really crazy cycles, temperatures and a general feeling of unwellness. I was sure that I was suffering from depression but reluctant to go on anti-depressants. My medical doctor at the time didn't think there was anything wrong with me, ran some tests and found nothing out of the ordinary. We were avoiding conception and therefore it was not a huge deal if I wasn't ovulating properly or had a long enough luteal phase to potentially allow implantation of a fertilized egg.

I sought a second opinion from a Naturopath. She sent me to a new Dr to get a series of blood tests that were far more in-depth and was able to determine my hormones were completely out of sync. Low progesterone, low iron (anemic levels) and a few vitamin deficiencies. She looked at my charts, and put me on a plan to get my hormones back into sync, assist my depression and help me relax.
The reason they were whacky? Stress, depression, anxiety.

It took about 3 months of supplements for everything to start functioning better. I was still having a few cycle issues, but things were starting to even out. Depression/Anxiety was still a problem that would need some serious intervention on my part. I wasn't ready to make the decisions I needed to make yet, so all we could do was support my overstressed body.

My Naturopath was aware of our future plans for a family and was in agreement that it's important to get things working BEFORE trying to conceive. When your body is in a state of extreme stress, the chances of getting pregnant is low. The chances of keeping a pregnancy is lower. As I was told, the chances of my body having a miscarriage are high because of my stress, depression and hormone levels. This isn't something you want to hear, but it sure makes you take stock of your life and start to eliminate things that are unnecessary.