When you see a pregnant woman, are you happy for them or do you wish that was you and seethe jealousy that it's not?
I am happy for people. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of miracle to make a baby. I have two friends that are pregnant and due in September. When I found out, I was excited for both of them. One told me in person, the other I found out on Facebook.
I haven't exactly kept in touch with them both because life is busy and we live in different parts of the city. It's hard to get together and their life is changing dramatically.
I got the opportunity to go to one friends baby shower. She did hers a couple weeks ago and looks so beautiful pregnant. She was relaxed, happy and waiting. I made a point to get to her shower and be there to support her. She has such a sweet soul. We played a few new games I hadn't played before, and it was great to catch up with her. I asked her all sorts of birthing questions and what her plans were. Who better to learn from than someone going through it? We are very similar so it was great to hear what she was planning and know that I could get information from her when our time comes.
My other friend had a surprise at 35 weeks. Her baby girl (they didn't know the sex at the time) wanted to meet them sooner than expected. I still don't have all the details as I think they are swamped and need some time. Their daughter is in the NICU for a week or so because she was early, but from what I have seen and heard from them, everyone is doing well.
It makes you see how different every pregnancy is. Every mom, every dad, every baby.
I love feeling joy for friends and smiling at strangers. There is something magical about that.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
The Two Week Wait
Two weeks is such a short time in our busy lives. In reality, it is. We can accomplish a lot in 2 weeks. That's two weekends to enjoy. 10 days of work. But when you are waiting for those two weeks to end so you can pee on a stick, they are LOOOONNNGGGG!
Charting makes the Two Week Wait (TWW) better and worse at the same time. Every day I get another high temperature after ovulation, I do a little skip for joy. Another day closer. It also makes it worse. You have an exact date of when you can test and when you are "late". When you know what day past ovulation you are, it makes the weeks longer. Plus you are used to charting all your symptoms. The worst part is that PMS and pregnancy share a lot of the same signs. Frustrating!
The new home pregnancy tests say you can test up to 4 days before your expected period. I know exactly when that is! But do you really want to spend $20+ on a test that may/may not give you an accurate result, when a missed period will tell you pretty much everything you need to know? I thought so last cycle. Husband thought it was too early, and it was.
We ended up not conceiving last cycle, and that's ok. God's timing wasn't right for us. There was a lot going on stress wise and I'm not surprised it didn't happen. Sad at seeing a Big Fat Negative (BFN) but also felt a little relief that we get to try again. This time is special and bringing us closer together as a couple.
Having been the crazy TWW lady that analysed every single "symptom" and used up 3 home pregnancy tests, I feel like this time around I'm more relaxed. I have faith that it will either happen, or won't. Either way, it's the divine plan.
Does me being more relaxed mean I won't pee on a stick at 12 days past ovulation? Likely not. Who wouldn't want to know as early as possible? Thank you dollar store for having cheap pink dye tests.
Charting makes the Two Week Wait (TWW) better and worse at the same time. Every day I get another high temperature after ovulation, I do a little skip for joy. Another day closer. It also makes it worse. You have an exact date of when you can test and when you are "late". When you know what day past ovulation you are, it makes the weeks longer. Plus you are used to charting all your symptoms. The worst part is that PMS and pregnancy share a lot of the same signs. Frustrating!
The new home pregnancy tests say you can test up to 4 days before your expected period. I know exactly when that is! But do you really want to spend $20+ on a test that may/may not give you an accurate result, when a missed period will tell you pretty much everything you need to know? I thought so last cycle. Husband thought it was too early, and it was.
We ended up not conceiving last cycle, and that's ok. God's timing wasn't right for us. There was a lot going on stress wise and I'm not surprised it didn't happen. Sad at seeing a Big Fat Negative (BFN) but also felt a little relief that we get to try again. This time is special and bringing us closer together as a couple.
Having been the crazy TWW lady that analysed every single "symptom" and used up 3 home pregnancy tests, I feel like this time around I'm more relaxed. I have faith that it will either happen, or won't. Either way, it's the divine plan.
Does me being more relaxed mean I won't pee on a stick at 12 days past ovulation? Likely not. Who wouldn't want to know as early as possible? Thank you dollar store for having cheap pink dye tests.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Stress
Stress. It's a nasty word that can mean something different for every single person. For me, it's a horrible thing that I deal with and has significant consequences to my health and family.
I have been through a lot of health issues, and I am now a firm believer that they all relate to stress and my inability to deal with a lot of it. Stress can be good and bad. Stress of a wedding = good! Stress of a job issue = bad. Stress of a new puppy = good. Stress of a death in the family = bad. And on we go. Stress can be good or bad but to your body, it's all the same. The chemical reaction inside is the same.
Last November, I noticed my charts went completely out of the norm and I was able to know that something wasn't right. I was losing focus, couldn't concentrate, was having really crazy cycles, temperatures and a general feeling of unwellness. I was sure that I was suffering from depression but reluctant to go on anti-depressants. My medical doctor at the time didn't think there was anything wrong with me, ran some tests and found nothing out of the ordinary. We were avoiding conception and therefore it was not a huge deal if I wasn't ovulating properly or had a long enough luteal phase to potentially allow implantation of a fertilized egg.
I sought a second opinion from a Naturopath. She sent me to a new Dr to get a series of blood tests that were far more in-depth and was able to determine my hormones were completely out of sync. Low progesterone, low iron (anemic levels) and a few vitamin deficiencies. She looked at my charts, and put me on a plan to get my hormones back into sync, assist my depression and help me relax.
The reason they were whacky? Stress, depression, anxiety.
It took about 3 months of supplements for everything to start functioning better. I was still having a few cycle issues, but things were starting to even out. Depression/Anxiety was still a problem that would need some serious intervention on my part. I wasn't ready to make the decisions I needed to make yet, so all we could do was support my overstressed body.
My Naturopath was aware of our future plans for a family and was in agreement that it's important to get things working BEFORE trying to conceive. When your body is in a state of extreme stress, the chances of getting pregnant is low. The chances of keeping a pregnancy is lower. As I was told, the chances of my body having a miscarriage are high because of my stress, depression and hormone levels. This isn't something you want to hear, but it sure makes you take stock of your life and start to eliminate things that are unnecessary.
I have been through a lot of health issues, and I am now a firm believer that they all relate to stress and my inability to deal with a lot of it. Stress can be good and bad. Stress of a wedding = good! Stress of a job issue = bad. Stress of a new puppy = good. Stress of a death in the family = bad. And on we go. Stress can be good or bad but to your body, it's all the same. The chemical reaction inside is the same.
Last November, I noticed my charts went completely out of the norm and I was able to know that something wasn't right. I was losing focus, couldn't concentrate, was having really crazy cycles, temperatures and a general feeling of unwellness. I was sure that I was suffering from depression but reluctant to go on anti-depressants. My medical doctor at the time didn't think there was anything wrong with me, ran some tests and found nothing out of the ordinary. We were avoiding conception and therefore it was not a huge deal if I wasn't ovulating properly or had a long enough luteal phase to potentially allow implantation of a fertilized egg.
I sought a second opinion from a Naturopath. She sent me to a new Dr to get a series of blood tests that were far more in-depth and was able to determine my hormones were completely out of sync. Low progesterone, low iron (anemic levels) and a few vitamin deficiencies. She looked at my charts, and put me on a plan to get my hormones back into sync, assist my depression and help me relax.
The reason they were whacky? Stress, depression, anxiety.
It took about 3 months of supplements for everything to start functioning better. I was still having a few cycle issues, but things were starting to even out. Depression/Anxiety was still a problem that would need some serious intervention on my part. I wasn't ready to make the decisions I needed to make yet, so all we could do was support my overstressed body.
My Naturopath was aware of our future plans for a family and was in agreement that it's important to get things working BEFORE trying to conceive. When your body is in a state of extreme stress, the chances of getting pregnant is low. The chances of keeping a pregnancy is lower. As I was told, the chances of my body having a miscarriage are high because of my stress, depression and hormone levels. This isn't something you want to hear, but it sure makes you take stock of your life and start to eliminate things that are unnecessary.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Natural Family Planning - To avoid and to conceive
I've been charting for 30 cycles. We started charting because after 10 years on the birth control pill, I and my husband (Frenchie) were thinking I'd gone crazy. The pill is supposed to level your moods, help with acne, and keep your period coming every 28 or so days. So what happens when your moods go all over, you breakout consistently and you're getting more than one period in 28 days? You start looking for alternatives.
My Dr had put me on 3 different pills in the 2 years I was having trouble. Every 4 months or so we would change to another one because of side effects, or there being no improvement. Finally, my husband (fiancé at the time) said enough. He said get off the pills, we'll figure something out.
I turned to Natural Family Planning (NFP) as our alternative. I was tired of stopping my body from doing what it was meant to do. I wanted to stop putting fake hormones in my body and allow it to rest and return to it's natural state. I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility front to back. We took the plunge and started charting to avoid pregnancy. We did two months on our own, and then went to a teaching couple I found through Serena Alberta.
The couple was amazing. A husband and wife team taught us everything we needed to know to avoid pregnancy, and how to, when the time came, switch to trying to conceive. The thing I loved was that the husband of the pair of them talked directly to mine. He was adamant that Frenchie learn all the rules and how to read my charts just as well as me. I didn't want to be the "gate keeper" so he needed to know by looking at my chart when we could and couldn't do the deed.
We successfully avoided getting pregnant for almost 3 years. It wasn't hard to do, and although at times it was frustrating, it's a wonderful way to be on the same page. You learn to be more intimate with each other in more ways and enjoy the "honeymoon" phase every cycle.
Fast forward to now. We have now flipped our charts to try and conceive. All those times we avoided, we now look forward to.
I have learned a lot about my cycles and about me as a person. I have learned how stress affects me, that not everyone is an "ovulation at 14 days and period at 28" person. I have learned to see how my cycles change with certain times of life and able to figure out when something isn't quite right. I am so thankful we switched to NFP and I can't see us ever doing anything else.
My Dr had put me on 3 different pills in the 2 years I was having trouble. Every 4 months or so we would change to another one because of side effects, or there being no improvement. Finally, my husband (fiancé at the time) said enough. He said get off the pills, we'll figure something out.
I turned to Natural Family Planning (NFP) as our alternative. I was tired of stopping my body from doing what it was meant to do. I wanted to stop putting fake hormones in my body and allow it to rest and return to it's natural state. I read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility front to back. We took the plunge and started charting to avoid pregnancy. We did two months on our own, and then went to a teaching couple I found through Serena Alberta.
The couple was amazing. A husband and wife team taught us everything we needed to know to avoid pregnancy, and how to, when the time came, switch to trying to conceive. The thing I loved was that the husband of the pair of them talked directly to mine. He was adamant that Frenchie learn all the rules and how to read my charts just as well as me. I didn't want to be the "gate keeper" so he needed to know by looking at my chart when we could and couldn't do the deed.
We successfully avoided getting pregnant for almost 3 years. It wasn't hard to do, and although at times it was frustrating, it's a wonderful way to be on the same page. You learn to be more intimate with each other in more ways and enjoy the "honeymoon" phase every cycle.
Fast forward to now. We have now flipped our charts to try and conceive. All those times we avoided, we now look forward to.
I have learned a lot about my cycles and about me as a person. I have learned how stress affects me, that not everyone is an "ovulation at 14 days and period at 28" person. I have learned to see how my cycles change with certain times of life and able to figure out when something isn't quite right. I am so thankful we switched to NFP and I can't see us ever doing anything else.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Preconception: What we thought about
Husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2. When we got married we wanted to wait a bit before starting a family. Just be married, enjoy being husband and wife and do a lot of things you can't do once baby comes. Not saying you CAN'T do what we had planned, it's just more difficult, and different.
We looked at our finances.
We started taking my entire salary and putting it into savings and living on his to see how we would do. What we saved we would use for travel and lump sum payments on anything (Car, Mortgage, Loans etc) We made a "baby fund". I made a budget for how much things would approximately cost for the first year of having a child. I also made a budget for being a working mom outside the home, inside the home or not working at all. I'm thorough and Husband likes data.
We made a "Baby Bucket List"
These were things we wanted to do before we were blessed with a baby.
Most of them were traveling or hanging out with friends. Our biggest thing was France. We wanted to go, not worry about being away for close to 3 weeks. Enjoy drinking as much wine, eating as much cheese and seeing all the sights without towing a kid around. That trip, for me, was our "last hoorah" before settling down.
We went to almost everywhere on our list, except a few that we decided we could do with kids.
We started looking after ourselves.
Husband and I are each 50% of the DNA that makes a child. We both need to be healthy by eating a balanced diet, exercising and taking care of our emotional well-being.
For me, my emotional well-being is the biggest place I have trouble. I am a stress case. I have had mild depression and frequent anxiety attacks that were quite debilitating. It takes a strong person to be selfish and do the right thing for themselves.
We started charting using NFP (Natural Family Planning)
I'll have a special post on this entirely, but a quick summary here. We started using NFP long before wanting to start a family. (Yes, it works!) I was tired of hormones being put into my body and wanted it to function on it's own. This allowed us to see exactly how I was affected by stress, changes, anxiety and led us to be preventative about health rather than waiting for "something to be wrong". It also brought us closer as a couple and allowed us to be more involved in how my body, a future mother, works.
We started training the dogs
I'm not saying they weren't trained before, they were. This is a different kind of training.
We never really thought about how the dogs are with kids until we thought about the "what ifs" of having a child and two dogs.
I have several nieces and my sisters are wonderful to help us with the dogs. They would bring their children and allow us to see how the dogs interacted in a VERY supervised environment and did so frequently in order to get them used to these small creatures that move fast and make high pitched sounds. We have a trainer as well that is giving us life long skills to train them. The great thing about him is he will come back and train us as our life changes.
What things did you think about before trying to conceive?
We looked at our finances.
We started taking my entire salary and putting it into savings and living on his to see how we would do. What we saved we would use for travel and lump sum payments on anything (Car, Mortgage, Loans etc) We made a "baby fund". I made a budget for how much things would approximately cost for the first year of having a child. I also made a budget for being a working mom outside the home, inside the home or not working at all. I'm thorough and Husband likes data.
We made a "Baby Bucket List"
These were things we wanted to do before we were blessed with a baby.
Most of them were traveling or hanging out with friends. Our biggest thing was France. We wanted to go, not worry about being away for close to 3 weeks. Enjoy drinking as much wine, eating as much cheese and seeing all the sights without towing a kid around. That trip, for me, was our "last hoorah" before settling down.
We went to almost everywhere on our list, except a few that we decided we could do with kids.
We started looking after ourselves.
Husband and I are each 50% of the DNA that makes a child. We both need to be healthy by eating a balanced diet, exercising and taking care of our emotional well-being.
For me, my emotional well-being is the biggest place I have trouble. I am a stress case. I have had mild depression and frequent anxiety attacks that were quite debilitating. It takes a strong person to be selfish and do the right thing for themselves.
We started charting using NFP (Natural Family Planning)
I'll have a special post on this entirely, but a quick summary here. We started using NFP long before wanting to start a family. (Yes, it works!) I was tired of hormones being put into my body and wanted it to function on it's own. This allowed us to see exactly how I was affected by stress, changes, anxiety and led us to be preventative about health rather than waiting for "something to be wrong". It also brought us closer as a couple and allowed us to be more involved in how my body, a future mother, works.
We started training the dogs
I'm not saying they weren't trained before, they were. This is a different kind of training.
We never really thought about how the dogs are with kids until we thought about the "what ifs" of having a child and two dogs.
I have several nieces and my sisters are wonderful to help us with the dogs. They would bring their children and allow us to see how the dogs interacted in a VERY supervised environment and did so frequently in order to get them used to these small creatures that move fast and make high pitched sounds. We have a trainer as well that is giving us life long skills to train them. The great thing about him is he will come back and train us as our life changes.
What things did you think about before trying to conceive?
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Why "makes five" ?
You're probably wondering why the title is "And Bébé Makes Five"
Well, we have two children of the fur variety. Adding a baby would make us a family of 5.
Beta we have had since she was 2 months old. We adopted her from a rescue society and she's been in our family for 4.5 years. She'll turn 5 December 2013.
Taylor is our newest addition. We adopted her from a friend in January 2013. Our friend was leaving for a school term in Europe and unable to take Taylor with her. The adoption was great and she fit right into our family, making us four. A dog for each of us! Taylor will turn 5 in August 2013.
We've been married for 2 years. We've done a lot of travelling and it's finally time. We pray to God that he will bless us with a life (or two!) to cherish and raise.
I hope you will join me on my blog as I post about preconception, trying to conceive, pregnancy, birth, and our growing family.
Well, we have two children of the fur variety. Adding a baby would make us a family of 5.
Beta and Taylor are our two dogs.
Beta we have had since she was 2 months old. We adopted her from a rescue society and she's been in our family for 4.5 years. She'll turn 5 December 2013.
Taylor is our newest addition. We adopted her from a friend in January 2013. Our friend was leaving for a school term in Europe and unable to take Taylor with her. The adoption was great and she fit right into our family, making us four. A dog for each of us! Taylor will turn 5 in August 2013.
We've been married for 2 years. We've done a lot of travelling and it's finally time. We pray to God that he will bless us with a life (or two!) to cherish and raise.
I hope you will join me on my blog as I post about preconception, trying to conceive, pregnancy, birth, and our growing family.
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